Updates...

RSV......

Did not know that this acronym would soon take over my life. Little Mady has it. You can actually vaccinate against it. Its that bad. Basically a really bad cold. Which is horrible for an infant who cannot tell you how she feels and cannot get her mucus "up". So they keep swallowing it, this is why infants have coughs for weeks and weeks.

Poor Mady strains so hard when she coughs she gets sick. Its awful to see your little helpless 2 month old so sick and not be able to do ANYTHING ABOUT IT, bc its a virus and it has to run its course. So what seems like a bad cold to an adult is RSV (usually) to a little one under 2. Today marks day 6. The cough is better, she slept better last night. Waking up every three hours to feed, but only feeding for like 6 minutes on only one side! I pray my milk supply isnt going down. This morning at the 6 am feeding she threw up! I really hope she isnt getting a tummy bug on top of this horrible cold. She is sleeping now in her swing. She is so dang cute (even when shes sick)....i want to kiss her all the time....which is why i have the cold! Ohh well.

Job Update: I dont want to work! There you go..thats the update....haha. JJ.
Actually have decided to end my management career in sunglasses. Its for the best and definitely not do able with a breastfed baby. Her getting sick really opened my eyes to my priorities. I used to open my store no matter what. If i was sick I was there....if my staff was sick i covered the shift. If there was a natural disaster and i could still open the store...i was there. Well, seeing mady so sick and then adding the idea that this could be during a day when i had to open my store....guess what that store aint getting opened!! I told my boss this and i dont think she was too happy about that response. She'll get it once she has kids. So for now...no more sunglasses.

I am looking into a nannying position. Once to twice a week where i can bring Mady. Its for a two and four year old. Seems great, but once again...with Mady being sick it was opened my eyes to germs and the severity of a sick infant. Now i am second guessing this decision. I have time before i need to decide.

Bryan may have a job in the mix. Not sure what...but it has something to do with pharmaceutical compounding and/or warehousing. Who knows. Bryan's dad is the brain child for this one. Sounds good though...we shall see.

Christmas, honestly was ok. I know that sounds horrible, but it was different this year. Yes it was our first Christmas with Mady, which was special, but i was paranoid the whole time bc Bryan was sick and I did not want Mady to get it.....yeah.


And...the Baise's house is under construction so we were in Bryan's Grandmothers house. Which was fine, tight but fine. It just didnt feel the same. However, since working retail Christmas is never the same again. Well, not for a long time atleast.

My family was uneventful. Phil and the boys when to the movies and left me, mady and bryan at their house. We slept a bit and then left. A little boring. Also since moving from MD its also hard for me to enjoy Christmas as i once did. Its hard to celebrate without my brother, dad, grandmother, aunts, uncle, cousins etc. I hate missing the Christmas cookie making with grandma. The annual Mackinson Family Christmas Party. The annual Centineo Christmas/ New Years party. All of it! Such is life, you grow up and things change. You make new memories with the ones around you....especially the little ones. I wish i had a picture to post...but i cannot find my uploader thing to do it. I havent actually unpacked bc Mady has been so sick and all my attention has gone to her. As of yesterday I didnt even shower for two and a half days!

Things are looking better now. I am learning that as much as we try to control our environments with preventing sickness....sometimes ppl just get sick. God is in control of absolutely everything!
"He is before all things and in Him all things are held together." Colossians 1:17

I need to learn to trust this and trust that God is good and works all things out for my good. Even if the means are hard, the ends are good.

"Surely God is my salvation I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, The Lord is my strength and my song he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit." Rom. 15:13

"When I am afraid, I will trust in YOU." Pslam 56:3

"The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy." Psalm 111:7

Sick Baby...

Poor little Mady. She had too much fun on Christmas and got sick. Shes fighting a cold. She got it from her daddy, who got it from my daddy....it was the "gift" that just keep giving! I hope i don't receive this gift! I have a feeling i will...especially since i am constantly breathing in Mady's breath as i hold her. Ohh well...as long as she gets better soon, I don't care if I get it.

More to come from Christmas on a later post. I should relieve Daddy and hold Little Ms. Mady snot nose!

She makes being sick look cute!

Russian Christmas?

Everyone thinks this picture of Mady makes her look like a Russian....or a baker?? How funny.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I love........

I love....staying at home with my daughter! Being here and not having the obligation to go to work has been such a blessing!! I feel like i am back in the loop with friends, family and cooking! Yes cooking. I have made some good meals since i've been home. I think Bryan is thankful for that. As good as watching food network is, reconnecting with friends and family has been much better. Its often been said that i am the worlds worst at keeping in touch and calling people back. I admit i could be better. However (and please dont read this as an excuse) i think that being in retail for the past fours years, full time and talking all day for a living i was TIRED of talking by the end of my days!!! Now I have time to TALK to the people i really want to talk to. Like all of my wonderful friends from church and other seminary wives with kiddos too. I've enjoyed sitting under their wisdom when it comes to raising little ms. mady. I've also enjoyed the quality time spent with some of these woman that i never could connect with bc of schedules. I cannot wait to go to an up-coming Christmas Dessert party too. No work conflicts! One of the greatest benefits of this time off has been the chance to connect with my sister in law. We're a lot alike and have always enjoyed the time we've spent together at random family get together. However, now there is more time to talk and take the occasional trip to each others home. My nephew and soon to be niece or nephew need an Aunt who can be there and support them, I am excited to finally have more time to be the person I've wanted to be. Mady is so close in age to her cousins...its going to be fun to watch them grow up together. Especially since they will spend a lot of their years together, much like siblings do. Parents eventually pass, as do grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, but cousins and siblings (usually close in age) get the chance to do life together! How sweet.

I love....my sweet husband. Who has done nothing short of bring me the moon and the stars since Mady was born. Taking up the burden of being the sole financial support for our family, going to school full time and finding sometime in there for himself as well. I know i am driving him crazy with my constant requests for water while nursing, the many trips to the store getting every essential i forgot to pick up, and just praying for me and Mady while he's apart from us. He's been and continues to be such an encouragement.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my daughter. The other night we enjoyed our first date since Mady came. We went to the Andrew Peterson, "Behold the Lamb of God" concert. It was amazing!!!!!! If you've never been you must go. The first half of the concert is the musicians singing some of their own music and the second half is the "Behold the Lamb of God" concert. During the first part a man sang a song he had written while tucking his little girls in to bed. It was so touching. I balled the entire way through. Its funny how everything becomes about your children, once you've had them. I dont look at anything the same anymore. I used to make fun of my mom for crying at the drop of a hat at the mere mention of anything sentimental. Now I AM THE ONE crying at the drop of the hat. Wow, being a mom rocks your world...and I love it!

This is the face i love to wake up to!


This is our Christmas card/ birth announcement. I made it myself on Picnik...poor seminary families...we do what we can! Hah. I think its cute.

6 weeks in 6 seconds?

So here is my little 6 week old! I seriously feel like she was born 6 seconds ago, not 6 weeks. I should already be back to work! No WAY am I ready to be back there! I don't know how mothers that breastfeed work. I am glad that i am taking additional "bonding weeks" that my company offers until January. I am dreading January. I can barely pump out dinner and take care of Mady and myself....not to mention poor Bryan and Calvin! Throwing work in the mix is going to get crazy.

LOTS has changed since my last post. One of the biggest changes is Mady sleeping through the night! That happened about two weeks ago...right around the 1 month mark. The main reason for this is The Miracle Blanket. Which truly is a MIRACLE. Mady was waking up every 2 hours and only sleeping in peoples arms for long stretches. SOOO not good. We'd put her down and she moves so much in her sleep she'd wake herself up. Even swaddles would work. She busted out of those. We had two different sizes too! My sister in law recommended the Miracle Blanket. Basically the blanket is a straight jacket! Well, not really, but it acts the same. It keeps Mady's arms tucked by her sides with two special flap like things that tuck behind her back. Then the rest of the blanket wraps around her several times. No Velcro to keep it in place or to wake her up, like on the swaddles. She looks like she's in a little cacoon when she's in it. She loves it and she feels safe and more importantly she sleeps up to 6 hours in it!! I have to wake her to eat! I love it! Thank you Miracle Blanket.



Thanksgiving was fun. We had a Thanksgiving with Bryan's family the weekend before actual Thanksgiving and then my Grandma and brother were able to come down for Thanksgiving at my parents house. They stayed a week. It was great...we all had a good time. It was awesome to get the four generations together. Mady, me, my mom, and my grandma ( Gi Gi, for Great Grandma!).







Mady's one month appointment was good. She weighs 8lbs and 2 oz. Which my lactation consultant couldnt believe how much she's gained. However, she is still only in the 25 percentile for her age....mainly bc she was born two weeks early. She's growing fast. She looks so different each day. She looks more and more like her daddy everyday!



One of the greatest things about Mady's development is her intentional smiles! She smiles on purpose, not just the cute little newborn smiles in her sleep or when she eats, but real, looking into your eyes and smiling, smiles! I love them. She has also started to do the baby talk, coo-ing thing. Also just as adorable. Especially when she does it to Bryan. I feel like I talk so much to her that she feels like she can get all her words out to Bryan! She melts our heart with each squeak!

I will say being a parent has its challenges. Especially regarding choices on how to raise your child. EVERYONE and I MEAN EVERYONE has their opinions and they are NOT afraid to share them...even if they themselves do not have children or haven't had them in like 20 years! Wow...i pray that I do not do this. So many choices out there between scheduled feeding vs. on demand feeding, Baby Wise principles, Baby Whisperer principles, No Cry Sleep Solution, Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable, Vaccine Schedules, Dr. Sears Methods and SOOOO SOOO MUCH MORE. Dont get me wrong. These are all good things to study, read and possibly do. We certainly are engaging in some of the above stated techniques. However, I feel like at the end of the day its the parents choice how they raise their children. This newborn phase is just the beginning of the "comparison game", as my wise husband pointed out. Someone out there is always going to think their method is better than yours and "nicely" offer their "suggestions", but again at the end of the day its the parents choice. Those parents will live and learn with the outcomes. I know most people mean to say these things to be helpful, but it really only serves to make the mothers feel like they are failing (in a small way). Heart intentions are sometimes not always communicated clearly when individuals sinful desire to be right over shadows their attempts to be helpful.

For us. Mady, Bryan and I. We are taking the biblical approach. Mainly meaning we are raising our child to know and fear the Lord. To respect and honor her mother and father as her authority. To learn love in our attempts to bond with her as an infant and love in our attempts to discipline her as needed throughout her life. To learn trust as we soothe her as an infant when she cries and trust when we give her just enough room to make good mistakes that will help her understand grace. We want her to know Jesus, so every decision we make with that as our end goal. Every child is different as well as every parent. What works for some, may not work for others, but what stands the test of time is Our God and His Word; by which are the ONLY things worth measuring our lives by. Or raising little lives by.