Fourteen

My oldest, baby brother turned 14 last week.
I cannot believe he is 14 and ready to head off to high school.
I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I was 12 and about to get all the hands on experience a girl needed in mother-hood training.

Shawn has always been a wise "old soul", as we call them in our family. Basically means someone who is wise beyond there years, quiet natured and very observant. He is a great kid, who is becoming a great guy and growing into an upstanding man. But, he will always be my little "Boogie". Good thing he doesn't read my blog, he'd kill me for that one.

Improvisation at its best. Mom forgot to get a "14" candle, so she took two numbers 1's (to make eleven) and then added three little candles to add to eleven, making fourteen. Hilarious!

True story. Mady is obsessed with Shawn. She asks for him, a lot. I don't know what it is about him, but man does this girl go "goo-goo" over Uncle Shawn. She makes him laugh too, I think he likes the attention.

The Uncles, Alex and Shawn have both taken their role to heart and began teaching her things she shouldn't say...like: "Butt". They ask her where her butt is, or to shake her butt...and of course, she does it to see their reaction. They crack up. So funny. We'll have to make sure this future PK (preachers kid) knows that kind of behavior is only cute when you are 2 and under.

Mady lovin' her some Shawn.

So cute!

Mady eating some good homemade red velvet birthday cake! 

She ate it two fists full at a time. 

I love both of these next pictures.
We hardly ever get pictures in my family at our events. So have to make the boys get in pictures with Mady. I don't think they realize that I am NOT after the posed shots, but the impromptu ones like these.....

I think its funny that I got both of them smiling at her! So sweet.
They are great Uncles.
Mady is so lucky.
She has a lot of Uncles (5) and only 2 Aunts, one that is not even related by blood, but she counts. She spoils her just like an Aunt and Mady loves her "Kreesty", Christy.

Happy 14th Birthday Uncle Shawn.

We love you very much and are so very proud of you!

Love Bryan, Sissy, Mady and Buck

Sunny-days...

Sweepin' the clouds away!!!

On my way to where the air 

is 

SWEET!!!

I know some of these pictures are blurry. I am trying my best to shoot less on P and more on Tv, adjusting ISO and shutter speed to get a better photo. Obviously I have forgotten everything I have learned from Photo I & II. To my defense, film feels different than Digital SLR. I never struggled to get good photos when I shot with film. Anyone know why that is? Really, if you do please tell me!

Anyway. We have so enjoyed the weather. Well, the nice days we have had, we have enjoyed them. With looming tornadoes and some days in the 90s while others in the 50s, welcome to Kentucky Spring. Totally unexpected. Totally irrational and totally like me. Haha!

These last batch of pictures were taken at "G-ma's" house. "G-ma" is what Mady calls "Grandma", my mom. I love it. Another fun thing she is saying lately is her name. She often refers to herself in 3rd person, sort of quoting what I say to her. Which is funny, but not as funny as her pronunciation of her name, which is "Manny". We laugh so much when she says it. So cute. The girl has great pronunciation with everything except her own name!! Just today she said it correctly, but I just knew I'd better put it on the blog before it was forever forgotten. Man, they change so fast and you don't want to forget the funny stuff like that.

Bubbles are.....

 not....

for.....

eating, young lady!

 

Icky!

"Momma said no, but I just had to see for myself...."

Good thing Momma knows me and put water in the jar, instead of bubble soap.
She so smart.

Mady likes to let Mommy blow bubbles, so Calvin can jump and eat them.

She likes to stir up the "bubble soap" and pretend its soup and then slurp it up.

Hence, the switch from soap to water. 

Anniversary Trip

Bryan and I went on our 5 year anniversary to Daytona Beach, Florida to go back to the place where we meet. The El Caribe, on a summer project with Campus Crusade for Christ. It was an awesome summer both spiritually and obviously, romantically. We made lasting friendships and memories to last a life time.

El Caribe today

We had a great time and literally felt like we had the beach and the city to ourselves. To our surprise, Daytona's "busy" season starts at the end of May on Memorial Day weekend. We were a week early. However, it was just what the "doctor order". We really enjoyed the un-interrupted alone time.

We watched the full moon's reflection over the ocean.

We saved money and ate in.

We saw some movies we've been wanting to see.

We woke up early to pray and watch the morning sun shine over the Atlantic Ocean.

Took a stroll down memory lane and found a Chocolate factory and took their free tour, ate free chocolate and had lunch in downtown Daytona.

We laughed and enjoyed each others company, as "man and wife" and less of a focus as "Daddy and Mommy". Not that you can ever leave that identity, but it helps to reaffirm the bond that existed before children.

We read God's Word by the ocean He created and can hold in the palm of his hand. Isaiah 40:12

Got some sun!

Watched the sun set from the same spot we used to watch it together 7 years ago.

Visited the place we first entered our dating commitment. We weren't able to go to the top of the Lighthouse because they weren't open, but just being there was fun and brought back some great memories.

Oh El Caribe...how you make love grow!
Our project leaders, Earle and Cara Chute met on the this exact project while they were in college. Later they married and now have 3 kids that have grown up on the shores of Daytona Beach every summer. Earle and Cara have led this project for 28 years!! They have seen many people fall in love too. One summer they had 6 staff, 3 girls and 3 guys and they were all single. That summer they all started dating and all married each other! Talk about sparks flying. From our summer alone, in '04 there were 3 marriages. So great!
 Earle and Cara are faithful in their love for Christ and one another, its encouraging and apparently contagious!

Overall, it was a great trip, a great walk down memory lane and a great time for "relaxation and renewal!" I am thankful for the meaningful moments shared at this place. I remember it fondly. Going back was no different.
It was a major blessing to be able to have this time with Bryan. Mady stayed with her Pop's and Mimi for the entire week. I was nervous to leave her, but to my delight she did wonderfully! I don't think she even missed us that much!
She feel in love with Pops and ice cream, Mimi and her giggle. She just had a ball and continues to ask for them and talk about "cows" and "farm".  Pop's and Mimi weren't in a huge hurry to hand her back either. They enjoyed her just about as much as she enjoyed them.
We were glad that they were able to share in the fun that is Mady, without us being around. Really get to know her and her silly personality.

All in all. Our prayers were answered and we were again reminded that God is so good and continues to be so good to us. This time was sweet and a much needed time to celebrate 5 years and pray for many more to come. God's greatest provision for me in this life (aside from Christ's perfect atonement) is Bryan. I was so glad to fall more in love with him this week. 

5 Years

5 years ago today, Bryan and I entered into the most important covenant we could enter in our lives. Our marriage is a covenant, a promise to one another. To love and to cherish, to honor, obey, in all ways and all circumstances. Sickness, health, in poverty and in great wealth. To not forsake the responsibility to prefer one another over ourselves.

This truly is a covenant only made through Christ. It is our greatest reflection and opportunity to demonstrate the gospel here on this earth.

We are only able to love in sickness and health, need and in plenty and in exercising the desire to put the other before our own needs because that is exactly what Christ has done for us. 

Christ became man, to suffer as man suffered. To live as man lived. To experience the trials of life lived in a fallen world only to remain unscathed by the lust and pull of the "sin that so easily entangles" (Heb. 12:1). He died the death and placed the penalty meant for us, on his shoulders. He preferred our lives over his own. He redeems His church to himself in the union of the believer. We are His bride. He is our groom. We can wear white because of the purity found in His sinless, righteous life given to those who believe in His name for salvation. Christ redeemed a people to himself and created the glorious union of Savior and Sinner. 

Our 5 Year Anniversary Trip to Daytona Beach, where we meet 7 years ago.

We have found, in our marriage that it is only possible to love unconditionally because we understand our greater union with our Savior that loves us unconditionally. Despite what our sin deserves (Ps. 103:10), He looks at us and sees Christ's righteousness (Rom. 3:22). This is truly amazing. 

Our marriage union was made in a sinful world, where trouble is around every corner looking to "steal, kill and destroy" (Jn. 10:10) our lives. But, we take heart, because Christ has beat the world and its lures.  (Jn. 16:33)

Bryan and I try to love one another, in spite of the world, realizing we are "more than conquerors" in this life (Rom. 8:37). We may have hard days, but the hardest day has already been had. Christ's union with us enables us to do all things, through Him and in His strength. 

When our marriage is founded in Christ we are made complete (Col. 2:10). We are overjoyed to meditate on this glorious union. We are elated to be able to have this platform to proclaim the gospel that saves us. 

In 5 years of marriage, we are still learning these truths. We trust Christ and "lean not on our own understanding" (Prov. 3:5), but continue to let Him lead our lives and our marriage. When He is at the 'head' the world cannot over come us (1Jn. 5:4),  He truly "holds us together" (Col. 1:17). 

This verse was read at our wedding and has been a great meditation for us as we journey together in our marriage: 

 ⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.  ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another.

Romans 12:9-16a.  

So thankful for these 5 years and how they have taught me, been a great joy to me and helped to sanctify my life. We are hopeful for 5, 25 and Lord willing 55+ more years in this union. Love you Bryan, thank you for helping me to reflect Christ in our marriage.

Mixed Emotions

B and I are about to go on a trip. A MUCH over due trip. We are about a week away from our 5th wedding anniversary and only 2 weeks away from our 7th "nice-to-meet-and-greet-you" anniversary. You see, we met at a very special place at a very special time in our lives. We meet on Summer Project with Campus Crusade for Christ in Daytona Beach Florida. The summer was a "spiritual greenhouse" for us both. We made lasting relationships and grew in some valuable ways. God used that summer to also bring both of us together. In fact, within moments of me getting out of my car and arriving in Daytona, that hot summer in '04, we meet for the first time. Blue eyes, blue trunks, cute! Is all I can remember thinking about Bryan. (I won't mention what Bryan remembers). Ha.

Needless to say, it was a special summer for us. We have very fond memories there and are excited to go back.

Besides that.

We are also looking forward to the much needed break. Since we've been married we have not gone alone on a vacation (week long break to a beach) since our honeymoon! We did go to Chicago two years ago before we had Mady and to celebrate another anniversary, but it was only a short weekend and I was in my early weeks of being pregnant....it was fun, but tiring. We got married young and haven't had a lot of money to make extravagant travel plans, nor have we had time with working and school. However, next week that is all about to change. We plan to ONLY RELAX in Daytona: lay out by the beach and talk. We are excited about being together, just the two of us. It will be great and much needed.

But, I have to be honest.
I am experiencing mixed emotions about the trip.
Especially now considering we have a little one in the picture.

Normally, I'd be fine with picking up and leaving all responsibilities to lay by the ocean. I love the ocean. I am a beach baby from way back, going at least once a year since birth. Most summers twice. I am way beyond my expiration date for Vitamin D, salty air, sandy toes and the sound of waves crashing.  But....

I have some new priorities that definitely put my needs on the way back burner.
Her name is Mady.
She wears glasses and is so stinkin' adorable she makes my insides ache!

Someone recently said that seeing your children is like seeing your heart walking around outside of your body. Yes. Yes. Yes! So true.

Having said that.
My heart likes to be connected to my body (or at least in the same state).
I must admit. One of the hardest things for me as a Christian mother is putting my husband before my child. I know that physical needs of an infant/ baby/ toddler do sometimes, in their urgency trump those needs of our spouse, but we are called, by God to honor our spouses above our children and even ourselves. While of course in this not forsaking the immediate physical health of one or all of these variables.

Oh boy, how often do I fail miserably at this. I am constantly having to confess and seek forgiveness from Bryan on many accounts where I am more enamored in love for Mady than him. That sounds horrible! Of course I am totally in love with my husband and have so much fun with him, but the love I feel for my child is so different. Often the desire to show that love to a little baby is more immediate than to my grown man of a husband.  Sadly, I struggle with this all too often.

I don't know if the reason is because Mady was so prayed for and so desperately desired in the several months it took us to become pregnant. Or if its just the innate way that God designed me as a woman to love, care and nurture a child in a different way than a man can experience. Men, do have this gift too, but a woman's, mother's love is fashioned different. It just is.  However, on the flip side of this is that God also uniquely fashioned me to love B in a way that only I can minister to him as his wife. I am without excuse.

All that to say.
I am so in need of some TLC with my super, duper, hot husband, but so not ready to leave my super, duper, cutie-pa-tutee daughter.

I so enjoy my days with her. Everyday I was pregnant and going to work, I would rub my belly and count the months until I was free from this burden of "working" in the world and leave to be able to be a full-time "worker" in my home. I delight in this ministry. Especially the part about raising the children.

So, I share this to say. Please pray for me.
I need prayer.
My heart is heavy tonight, so much so that its nearing 1 am. and I am unable to sleep with this rock of emotion on my chest. Without getting into too much detail about the "what" of why I am emotional about going....let me leave you with some truths to please be praying for us.

• God is sovereign and in control of all things. Col. 1:17 (Mady's happiness, comfort, routines, sleep, play, attachment, bonding to grandparents etc, etc, etc)
• That I would find "peace that transcends all understanding" in trusting the Lord for our safety and Mady's while we are gone.
• The Lord orders our steps and not a sparrow falls without Him knowing. That I would relax and find rest in the fact that He is ultimately caring better for Mady everyday, better than I ever could. He is in control, not me! Ever!
• We (Bryan and I) would fall in love with the "bride of our youth". Be refreshed and renewed in our unity and marriage as a couple.
• That the Lord would use this time to grow us in His word and His mission/call for our lives as a family. That we would have a good time to reflect, be thankful and praise our Lord for His continued mercy and kindness in our lives.