Announcing...

The newest member of our family, being fearfully and wonderfully knitted together by a God who gives good gifts is currently taking up residence in my womb! After a year of heartbreak and loss, we are thrilled to announce the newest blessing due to arrive in early November. Same due date as Mady :), just 3 years later.

I have written and re-written this post in my mind at least 10 different times. I want to rejoice in this good gift, while also being sensitive to those who are grieving their own losses. I know countless women who are also struggling with infertility and adoption delays and complications. Pregnancy and Parenthood is an amazing gift from the Lord, but often the road to this blessing is filled with hardship and struggle.

For us our first baby, Mady was conceived after several months of trying and a diagnosis of endometriosis, several years prior. We were hopeful that God's plan would be be for our good and His glory. Sometimes this results in a child and sometimes this does not. Either way, I have learned God is to be glorified in my SUFFERING and MY REJOICING! Because, HE upholds my life in BOTH of those places.

Thankfully, Mady came without mishap or problem. A picture perfect pregnancy. She is a blessing and continues to be.

"Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?"

John 11:40

We began 2011 hopeful with dreams of adopting. Shortly after being offered an amazing financial assistance to adopt, we were told we do not qualify to pass our home study based on income requirements. Then we began trying for our second child. We miscarried 3 babies in just 7 months. One baby we carried to 10 weeks and had to have surgery. I felt empty, despaired, lost, alone, scared and.... thankful for a strong relationship with a God who comforts...and He did. I blogged many times through my healing in losing these babies.

So now, here we are. In this different place. A place were most people are over the moon with excitement over the news of a new little one, I was scared at every turn. I wanted so badly things to go well, but I doubted. So many times I wrestled with whether I was really trusting God fully and if I was, then why would I still be struggling with this fear and doubt. 

I had great conversations with countless Godly women who prayed with me, counseled me and encouraged me with scripture. I prayed and sought the Lord continually with this fear and I came away realizing that even BEING PREGNANT is another form of suffering for me (and especially in the early stages). It wasn't me DOUBTING GOD and His goodness. Because CLEARLY I had seen through our losses His immediate grace and mercy in comforting us. I never doubted during my miscarriages God's goodness, not once.

But somehow, this place felt different. It was harder for me to truly relax and "be still and know that He is God" Psalm 46:10 because of EXACTLY that. HE is GOD. Not ME! I cannot control what is going on inside of my body, only He can....and that is what scared me the most. Knowing that the same God who saw fit to give us Mady and to give us 3 babies to lose in miscarriage is the same God who placed this baby in my womb. Which path would He choose for me this time? This thought was terrifying and it was that THOUGHT that scared me, not His comfort, His mercy or His blessing. It was the outcome I wasn't prepared for, because I JUST DIDN'T KNOW what HE would DO. 

Thankfully, He has chosen to keep this little one in my womb. I am 16 weeks today and praising the Lord with every flutter and movement I feel. This baby is a miracle, as are all children. 

A lot of people have asked me if I feel "better" now that I am further in my pregnancy and out of the first trimester or if I feel "better" because I am "finally" feeling like I am trusting the Lord more. My answer is : I never stopped trusting. Its the UN- KNOWN outcome that is scary; as in getting bad news. The good news is that the OUTCOME only lasts a moment, but His mercy lasts a lifetime. His goodness, His comfort is everlasting. Bad news is hard, its scary and every woman that has been delivered some will tell you its the initial news they fear, not the recovery. 

For me there was only one way to move and that was forward. The Lord was kind in restoring my broken heart. He still restores....but joy does come in the morning....and NOT solely because of the promise of new life, but solely because of the promise of ETERNAL life I have in Christ. God is good to sprinkle blessings and sufferings along the way. 

Pray with us for this new blessing He has given us.

Daddy Daugther Date Specialty

What a better combination?
A bath and popsicle? Yum!!
Bryan is so fun with Mady...he does things differently than I do in terms of a routine.
So he let me in on a little "Daddy Daughter Date" secret. Popsicles and Bath time. The two, apparently go together a lot of the nights when I work. I love it.
So fun Daddy!

Such special memories this little girl will have with her Daddy.

SHE DID IT!!!

She finally did it! After a year or more DEFIANCE of all things "potty", she decided [after some bribing, not ashamed; don't judge].
Haha. Ok, ok. 
There was a little bribing with a new princess toy as a celebration and reward for a BIG DEAL thing taking place.

I really wanted Mady to be ready when we started trying again.
So we talked about potty training a lot and she new A LOT about it. Saw some of her big-girl friends and cousin use the potty. We role played, read books and just WAITED.
Waited until she was ready.
Still suggesting, but really just waiting.
My only goal was SOMETIME with summer.
Warm months to go naked around the house, if needed.
Seemed logical to me.

Our method is diaper free, with underwear wearing except with nap (maybe) and bedtime.
We'll see how it goes. It went well today.
She was excited to wear her princess panties and knew she didn't want to be wet. So I asked her if she needed to go...a lot!
We went about our evening. Dinner at Qdoba, two errands to Bed Bath & Beyond and Target.
Stayed dry the entire time.

I knew when we got home she'd be ready to pee.
We even took a stroll down the isle of all things Princess at Target, to pick out our "Potty Training Success Prize". Good motivation.

We came right home and she went right away and without hesitation! THANK YOU LORD!!
Then....
The POTTY TRAINING PARTY began....
We made the BIGGEST deal over this small puddle.
HAD to, so that she'd be excited to do it again.

So I am just praying that this continues tomorrow, because we ain't turning back now!

here is part of her reward tonight...it was well received and well earned. i am so proud of my little girl. 

yes, it was only ONCE!
but hey, here's to positive thinking??? Haha.
boo to positive thinking and amen to the power of prayer.
we've been praying together for this and after she "went" we prayed and thanked God for giving her courage to actually go. hopefully the rewards don't over shadow the Lords hand in this.
Blessings come in all forms.
From little ice cream cones to beautiful daughters that are GROWING TOO FAST!

May, so far...

I can't even believe its May?
Really when did that happen. Probably right after April, duh?
Seriously, life goes so much faster when you have kids.
I know I've said this before....but, I'll say it again...
When you're young, you want life to speed up so you can be BIG.
When your a young adult you want to go back to being a kid with NO RESPONSIBILITIES.
When you have KIDS, you want time to slow down so you can cherish every.moment.

The TRUTH is....time stays still with you're young, time drags with you're an adult and time flies when you want it to stop.
Such is my thoughts on time.

 time.

Girly play dates. 

We went to a wedding at the Zoo. Pictures with Camels, Kangaroos and Boa Constrictors.

Supported a great friends adoption at a Girl's night of Fundraising. 

Had lunch dates with my bestie. 

Not pictured: Women's Fellowship and Discipleship training nights, a date night and little girl toes painted in PINK!

more may.

A boy birthday party at the Firehouse.
BIRTHDAY CAKE for my sweet tooth baby girl.
Shopping for new glasses.
Playing with ALL her animals in various Little People play scenes. (Loving this age of really cute, alone play time).
Snuggling on the couch before naps....Buck and Mads.

We're having fun and the summer is just beginning.
Lots to look forward to as well. Some big changes, challenges and celebrations in our future.
Weddings, big-girl beds and potty training and MUCH MORE.
Thank you Lord for a full life.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

John 10:10b.

Say What!?

Oh wow, its been a while since I've posted. So much to catch up on...
However, this post is just going to be a "Say What!?", so I don't forget them.

So here goes.
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Sometimes I look at Mady and tell her, "I love you with all my heart and soul!"
So yesterday, she looked at me and said: "Mommy, I love you with all my heart and snow!" 

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Mady is a good sleeper. She prefers certain things though. Like, a dark room, noise maker of some fan sound and her blankey. She isn't the best car sleeper. She has to be pretty tired to sleep in the car and it has to be a long car ride for it to happen.

So on the rare occasion when we need her to sleep in the car we will say to her, "Close your eyes, lay back and relax."

So the other day she told me: "Mommy, close your eyes and belax." 
Be-lax. Kind of like "be relaxed", I guess.

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I love how observant Mady is becoming. If I paint my toe nails for have a different dress on, she notices. Everything.

So the other day I was attempting to get up off the floor and had been battling a sore/twisted knee and I guess I grimaced in pain and Mady said: "Mommy, are you ok? What's the matter?"
I said: "Oh, Mommy's ok, I just have a sore knee right now."
She said: "Mommy, daddy can protect it and make it all better." 
SO SWEET!!

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Mady's BFF is a little girl named Moriah. I have blogged about them in the past.
They are fun together.
We have a CD that sings the Old and New Testament books. The old testament ends with "Zechariah Malachi".

Mady has gotten it in her head that "Zechariah" sounds like "Moriah", which it does rhyme at the end.
So she would often sing: "Moriah avachaif". Made NO SENSE to me, until I finally listened closer to what she said. She was singing, "Zechariah Malachi." So I finally corrected her that that was not Moriah's name.
Then she told me: "Miss Stacy say, "Moriah Faye". Which is actually Moriah's name. So funny. She knew all along, but just liked the rhyming. Haha.

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This isn't really a "Say What!?", per say, but something to be noted for future reflection.
Mady really loves music and has memorized all of her CD's and can sing every word.
I just love it. She sits in the back seat and sings her little heart out. When she is playing she will often sing to herself. She also often asks me to STOP singing, so she can sing....that is not as cute...but boy, she loves to sing.

Her latest favorite is Shane and Shane's "When I think about the Lord", also one of my favorites. She loves to let out a big "SHOUT" after the "It makes me want to SHOUT!!" I can fondly remember singing this song as a new believer. So fun to hear my daughter sing it now.
God is good!