Batty the Bat

Picture it. (anyone remember when Sofia, from Golden Girls would say that every time she was about to tell as story from her days in Sicily)...anyway....

So there I am. Laying on the couch watching some TV. Mady has been asleep for about 30 minutes, Calvin is already snoring, drolling and farting....needless to say a pretty normal night; we were in relaxation mode. I will add, Bryan was not home from work yet. It was just me and the Buck when all of the sudden something black flies (rather swoops) over my head. I FREAK OUT! To say that I freaked out is putting it mildly. I may or may not have used several expletives as I screamed and ran out of the house!

At this point I wasn't sure if Batty was a bird or a bat. All I knew was it was flying furiously through my living room. In my frantic flight out of my house the dog followed and thought it was a game. He was ready to play. So I thought, well, he's a dog, a predator of smaller animals (?) ...so why not send Calvin in to attack the winged beast. So I sent him in...he hardly noticed Batty and I think he may have been just as scared as I was. So I begin to scream at him through the glass storm door to attack Batty. He was confused.

"What am I going to do? My dog is useless and I am scared of every living thing that crawls or flies and belongs in dark places." I think, as I have the bright idea to keep my storm door open to lure the bat (by this time I could tell it was a bat by the wings) out of my house, into the black of the night. There was NO WAY I was going to go in there and lure it out....which is what smart people would do. No, No, I decide to stand with my front door wide open and glass storm door open, which I safely stood behind, screaming. I continued this for about three LONG minutes...watching Batty swoop and circle my living room eight thousand times........FINALLY Batty gets the point and flies out of my house, via the front door and right by the glass storm door, which I was still standing behind, screaming.

Thank God, its gone. But now....how did it get in? I call Bryan, my mom, dad and father in law to help empathize in my situation and figure out how this thing got into my house. The only thing Bryan and I could think of (by this time he was home from work, but did miss all the action) was our chimney. We have an older home with an old chimney. Bryan and I were both freaked out to shine the flash light up into our chimney (we were on the verge of doing paper, rock, sissors to see who would actually do it) . I think we both thought the rest of Batty's family would swoop down and seek revenge...but they did not...and we closed the only thing we found to be open. We still are not sure if it went all the way up to an open sky....either way we slept a little better knowing we closed an opening to a dark obis.

The best part of this story is how my father in law just laughed at me and explained that he had mice that ran across his floors as a child. "Well, I didn't!" The only bugs I came in counter with were the occasional water bugs in bath tubs (and even they still freaked me out). Like I said, I hate bugs and flying things!

I hope this is our last encounter with Batty. Fly away Batty, please never return...you over stayed your UN-welcome.