Miscarriage and the Hope of God

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 
1 Peter 1:6-7

There is great pain in loss. The loss of a promise. The loss of a great blessing.
Its amazing how double lines on a stick can change your whole emotional state. That's because its more than a set of lines, its the hint of a promise of a "full quiver" (Psalm 127:5).  Its a glimpse into the mighty hand of God as he "knits" his image, "fearfully and wonderfully" into a womb. (Psalm 139: 13, 14, 15)

An empty womb can be the most horribly dark and devastating place to dwell for someone heavy with the journey of infertility. Its a reminder of sin and how it destroys, steals and kills. (John 10:10) Its a reminder that the world is not as it should be.  Its a reminder that even the believer has to deal with sin and deep pain as we know and long for the "beautiful inheritance" (Psalm 16:6) promised to those who trust Christ for salvation.

But thankfully death, pain, and loss found in an empty womb can be a chance to rejoice, hope and trust because of an empty tomb.  I trust in a Christ that has already beat death and made a way for the believer to experience hope in the midst of the darkest night.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

I am as confident as David, when he states in Psalm 16:2 "I have no good apart from you." or in Psalm 84 verse 11 that says " No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly."  or in Matthew 7 verse 11 where it states that a loving Father gives good gifts to his children. I trust a sovereign God, who is before all things (Colossians 1:17). He gives and he takes away.  In the answer of a prayer, He is good, in the removal of a child from its mothers womb, He is still good.

My God is not a God who delights in seeing the believer suffer. My God is a God who delights in seeing His children trust in His ultimate, perfect plan for their lives. Even when that means grieving the loss of a good gift to wait and be satisfied in Him alone for future graces. He cares for my desires and he cares for my hurts; "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you..... after you have suffered a little while the God of all grace, who has called you to eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you." 1 Pet. 5:7, 10

Everyone grieves differently. Especially miscarriage. I have found great comfort in God's word. It has truly been the only thing I clung to in the dark hours of despair, when my heart was screaming one thing but my mind was saying another. Holding on to and believing whatever is true, honorable, just, pure and lovely. (Philippians 4:8) Also not giving into anxieties, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 6-7)

So truly as scripture states I am eager to find reasons for thanksgiving; I am thankful he took this life early and in doing so sparing us late-in-term miscarriage. We barely had time to bond and connect with the thought of number two before it was taken way, and for this ( and as a woman, I am thankful). I am also thankful for the chance to not only understand, empathetically the road of infertility, but now the experience of miscarriage. I can hold a hand and shed a tear with a dear sister, whether in ministry now or in our future endeavors that will be genuine and full of grace as I reflect on my own experience. I am thankful that this has brought my marriage closer and our prayer life stronger. I am thankful to be even more thankful for our little blonde-haired blessing who is currently dreaming sweet dreams in a pink and green bedroom down the hall. I am thankful to suffer and experience the goodness of Christ.

Some might seem that it is odd for someone to say that they are thankful to suffer. To be devastated by the loss of a pregnancy is a hard trial, and not one that I wish to have to journey down again. However, this trial was meant for my good. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good." (Romans 8:28) This trial was given to me for my sanctification and for His glory. I have no hope outside of the cross. There is nothing good I can do to earn my salvation. There is no joy found in decadent things, rich foods, handsome husbands and precious babies meant to satisfied the soul like the everlasting and eternal covenant the believer has with Christ. I live not for the temporal gifts and curses of this world, but rather for the promised feast I have waiting at the table with Christ. (Revelation 19:9,10) Only, in His death do I find life and because of this, I rejoice at a chance to suffer well with Christ.