Weary Words

We've proven that the old saying of "3rd times a charm" isn't exactly working like a "charm".
You'll have to excuse my cynicism, but I am a little emotionally raw as we experience our 3rd miscarriage in just 6 short (yet longest) months of my life.

My body, my emotions, my everything is spent. I am so weary. So tired of crying the same tears, saying the same prayers and reminding myself of the same things. I know they are true, but you come to a certain point in the road and you just want to know that you are ok. I think this is not only wise, but responsible after 3 consecutive losses.

When I say "ok", I mean physically. Because, spiritually I am so clinging to the Lord and I have experienced sweet intimate times with my Heavenly Father that I wouldn't trade for a thousand beautiful babies. I know through this suffering that His Word is true. I am not afraid to suffer because of His surpassing faithfulness. He has proven Himself, over and over. I am just exhausted of this journey.

I am, at this point concerned with my physical well being and the underlying "issues" surrounding these miscarriages, physiologically. I have now had two related miscarriages (early / chemical ) and a missed miscarriage which occurs when the pregnancy goes on and the baby dies without the body detecting it.

I feel like knowing some of the answers to my questions will help me rest.
All I want to do is rest. Every time I feel like I am turning a corner there is a reminder of the void and emptiness. Satan so tries to steal, in every way through this. However, the Lord has been my main stay, every present comfort....but boy do those fleeting thoughts grip you. Seize you. Take you over in a heart beat.

I am having a hard time. Mainly because I am so so so desperately tired. Weary. I have no other words. Just seeking your prayers and asking faithful believers to bring my "plight" before the Father who knows. He knows the number of my days, the number of hairs on my head and the number of tears I have shed while walking this journey. I am tired and desperately clinging and trusting these verses.

^"16So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸ as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal........

⁵He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee."

2 Cor. 4:16-18, 5:5