Worthiness.

So the idea of worthiness has been on my heart lately.
Worthy: a deserving effort.  Websters definition


I have recently been reading Tim Keller's Prodigal God which takes the popular "Prodigal Son" parable from the bible and flips it on its head. Keller highlights Jesus' true meaning of the parable. Not so much with the lost, younger brother, but rather with the LOST, elder brother. He even goes as far as to say the parable would be better titled "The Two Lost Sons". Especially when you considered audience and relevance to time and place, it makes much sense. You'll have to read the book to find out why.

It is alarming to see the attitude of the elder brother. He is so righteous in his own works for keeping the "law" and obeying his father daily. So much so that he says: "I have been slaving for you!" (Luke 15:29) He says this in reaction to his fathers redemptive love toward the wayward, younger brother upon his arrival home after squandering his inheritance. He felt WORTHY.

Worthy to receive his fathers greatest blessing.
Worthy to have all his attention.
Worthy to be the apple of his eye.

What was his justification for such an attitude? Merely on the basis of his WORKS.

But we know, as Christians we cannot receive favor based on the "things" we do....

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. " Ephesians 2:8-9

"(He) who has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time". 1 Timothy 1:9

"he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." Titus 3:5

The part that says: "BUT because of HIS MERCY"....may be the very best thing I have ever read! 

If I am honest, my heart doesn't always believe this. It shows up in my actions and the hidden desires in my heart. 

IF I am completely HONEST I have the tendency to be the "elder brother" in the prodigal story and "slave away" at this life, unto to Godliness and in the name of "bringing God glory" to only see myself MORE GLORIFIED!! How disgusting. Just being honest. 

Pride at its worst = the idea of WORTHINESS. 

Facing the losses of 3 babies in the past 9 months has revealed some real dependency issues. 

Too much dependence on myself and not enough on the Lord. 

If I am continuing to be HONEST.....I would painfully tell you that I have thought "I am worthy to receive more children!"I am a good person.
I pray daily. I read the bible. I do what you command.....{now give me what I want!}

Like I am worthy for a paycheck because I have worked the hours. 

It just doesn't work that way. 

Children are a gift from Him. A GOOD gift and one to be desired. BUT it is NOT based on my good behavior....just as SALVATION is NOT based on my "worthiness". 

If I believe that my inheritance with the Lord is the GREATEST gift God has for me (which I do) and is based solely on HIS MERCY (like the verses above state) than why would I even consider myself worthy when He has clearly stated the way to such gifts is through Him??!!

I am not worthy.

I am a sinner. 

I am a sinner saved by Christ who said: "BUT BECAUSE of His {Christs'} MERCY", not my own. 

I have none. 

If we really think on this, it is freeing. 

May I only be found WORTHY in my utter depravity to shamelessly be clothed in Christ's Righteousness and look to Him as the only source for all things pertaining to this life. Even good things like the blessing of more children.

 "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to our own  his own glory and excellence". 2 Peter 1:3